Endings
Kill Hatoba ⋯ Get turned into Swiss cheese by Kuroyanagi ⋯ Blue and Red get turned into Swiss cheese by Kuroyanagi, too ⋯ Kuroyanagi is fucked in the head ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as cheese
Kill Akama ⋯ Get targeted by Aoyama ⋯ Kuroyanagi blows Aoyama’s head off ⋯ Get kidnapped by Kuroyanagi ⋯ Get forced to act as matchmaker for Shiroyabu’s final battle ⋯ Get blindfolded and moved somewhere else ⋯ Horns blare out for the start of a bloody rumble on a man-made island ⋯ Fall into the most terrible depths of Hell
Kill Aoyama ⋯ Get targeted by Akama ⋯ Kuroyanagi shoots out Red’s heart ⋯ Akama is wearing a bulletproof vest and fends her off ⋯ Kuroyanagi leaves the fight and disappears into the darkness ⋯ Shiroyabu and Akama face off ⋯ Shiroyabu becomes an observer and disappears ⋯ Akama’s decaying body lies on the floor ⋯ Go off on a journey to find Shiroyabu
Kill Akama and Aoyama ⋯ Kuroyanagi misses her shot and shoots you ⋯ Get wrapped up in a tarp and dumped in the ocean ⋯ The 25th Ward is destroyed and you’re eaten by fish ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as plankton
Try to kill Kuroyanagi, but… ⋯ Get instantly killed ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as a rock
Slash your wrists ⋯ Pass out but remain alive ⋯ Get processed by Shiroyabu at Kamui’s processing place ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as Kamui
Hold your breath ⋯ Die on the spot with your integrity intact ⋯ Get killed by Kuroyanagi after she kills Red and Blue ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as carbon
Kill yourself with a necktie ⋯ Fail to kill yourself ⋯ Piss off Kuroyanagi, Red, and Blue, and get turned into Swiss cheese ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ Be reborn as a fly
Kill yourself with a knife ⋯ Writhe around in pain till you die ⋯ Get your head stomped the fuck in by Kuroyanagi ⋯ Go to Hell ⋯ You weren’t able to be reborn
Kill yourself with a gun ⋯ Kamui appears ⋯ Kamui prays and disappears ⋯ You’re standing somewhere that isn’t Hell ⋯ Walk onwards
Kill everyone (excluding yourself) ⋯ Kuroyanagi comes back ⋯ She’s been hyper-fied ⋯ Get your heart ripped out ⋯ Wake up from your dream ⋯ Kuroyanagi was also dead ⋯ Get onboard the boat coming to pick you up
Kill everyone (including yourself) ⋯ Shiroyabu guides everyone to the observation room ⋯ Spend the whole night on the lookout tower discussing your feelings about the world ⋯ Be reborn as light itself at dawn
Cut off Hatoba’s arm and kill Akama ⋯ Hatoba can’t move ⋯ Aoyama is confused ⋯ Kuroyanagi finishes off Blue ⋯ Kuroyanagi cuts both your arms off with her machete ⋯ Get sent up into the sky by a shitload of balloons ⋯ The Earth is blue ⋯ A sky observer appears ⋯ Get taken to the 6th dimension ⋯ Become the Vertex and Intersection Administrator
Cut off Hatoba’s head and crush Kuroyanagi’s heart ⋯ Get shot by Blue and Red ⋯ After a hardcore gunfight, take down both Red and Blue ⋯ White comes to get vengeance for Black ⋯ Kamui’s eyeball does its thing ⋯ Shiroyabu’s physical body gets atomized ⋯ The real observer appears from behind Shiroyabu ⋯ You can’t move, and the observer touches you with his fingertip ⋯ Be reborn as space debris and wander around the infinite universe ⋯ Arrive at a certain planet ⋯ Get picked up by a small living being ⋯ Get fused together with another unknown living being ⋯ Get sent off to extradimensional war ⋯ Come out of the war victorious and become a hero ⋯ Get engaged to a princess ⋯ Get assassinated next to the king ⋯ Be reborn as space debris
Shoot out Hatoba’s kneecaps and stomp his immobile ass ⋯ Kuroyanagi, Blue, and Red get into a heated gunfight ⋯ Kuroyanagi kills both of them at the last second ⋯ Kuroyanagi confirms Hatoba’s corpse and leaves in her bitchin’ car ⋯ Kuroyanagi goes to a beachside golf range and checks her form ⋯ She cries ⋯ She speeds along the freeway at 200mph ⋯ She arrives at an international airport and takes a trip to Italy to heal her broken heart
Bite off all of Hatoba’s fingers and kill Aoyama ⋯ Get stabbed by Akama, who just took down Kuroyanagi ⋯ Ow ⋯ Owow ⋯ Owowow ⋯ Owowowowowow ⋯ OUCH FUCK SHIT ⋯ OUCH GODDAMMIT OW SHIT OUCH FUCK SHIT OW ⋯ Huh ⋯ Be reborn as a Brazil nut
Grab Hatoba by the throat and knee him into a KO ⋯ Take out Blue and Red while dodging Kuroyanagi’s attacks ⋯ Desperately run away ⋯ Kuroyanagi hulks the fuck out and her eyes go bloodshot ⋯ She looks like a demon ⋯ Run away to a warehouse area ⋯ Kuroyanagi’s howls rip through the air ⋯ Get chased into the sea ⋯ Evade Kuroyanagi as she chases you ⋯ Hatoba pulls you under the water ⋯ You disappear down to the depths of the sea
Explode ⋯ Bam ⋯ Everyone gets blown away ⋯ Shiroyabu saves Kuroyanagi ⋯ Shiroyabu overtakes Kuroyanagi and everything explodes again ⋯ Wake up in a waiting room ⋯ Shiroyabu and Kuroyanagi sit before you ⋯ They’re old and look like strangers ⋯ They leave ahead of you ⋯ Head to the gate in order ⋯ Get on the elevator to rebirth and get off at a floor marked with mysterious symbols ⋯ Get registered and wait ⋯ 15 years go by ⋯ Get called in by reception and open the door ⋯ Be reborn as some sort of mysterious being
Explode big ⋯ Bam ⋯ You can see a revolving lantern ⋯ You remember going on a picnic ⋯ You played with a girl you don’t know ⋯ You ate a sandwich and a rice ball ⋯ You also ate some noodles ⋯ You didn’t like most of the food ⋯ You ate some scrambled eggs ⋯ They were sweet ⋯ Then you disappeared
Explode hella big ⋯ Bam ⋯ Bam ⋯ You stand at the vanishing point ⋯ It becomes hard to confirm your physical body ⋯ Does the world really exist? ⋯ You wander around the empty darkness ⋯ You find a single point of light ⋯ You bring your hand close to the brightly shining light ⋯ You disappear to the train station next door to the 12th dimension
Explode like a motherfucker ⋯ Bam ⋯ The world is covered in white and everything is purified ⋯ You become part of time itself and become a Fixed Pointist and observe ⋯ Observe yourself ⋯ Find your own self-existence ⋯ Shed the façade of a human and accept time ⋯ Become the future
Catch on fire ⋯ Hurt ⋯ Stop seeing people ⋯ Only eat beef bowls every day ⋯ Lose your sense of taste ⋯ Lose your appetite ⋯ Succeed in dieting ⋯ Your clothes don’t fit ⋯ Shop at the mall ⋯ Take a break at a coffee shop ⋯ The old person sitting next to you speaks to you ⋯ “Go back to your original world” ⋯ It was just before getting killed by Kuroyanagi ⋯ Hurt
Catch on fire, but like, more ⋯ Hurt badly ⋯ Sleep ⋯ Sleep again today ⋯ Stop thinking ⋯ Lose your sense of life ⋯ Seek nothingness ⋯ Go on a journey ⋯ Get on the bus ⋯ Just keep going ⋯ Arrive at the ocean ⋯ The sunset is beautiful ⋯ You can’t cry ⋯ Your heart was crying ⋯ Your emotions disappear ⋯ Hear the sound of a gun being cocked ⋯ A strange student is pointing a gun at you ⋯ “All people have an existence attached which administrates them. Did you know that every moment of your life is being kept track of? The administrators decide when you fight, protect, laugh, cry. They don’t make decisions for anyone else. They have no interest in love or hate, and they only want to focus on themselves and that which they’re administrating. I don’t really want to interfere, but this time is special. I’m your administrator. This place is not where you’re supposed to end. Go back and fight again. Alright, I’m gonna say the magic words! ⋯ “Expecto Patronum!” ⋯ Return to this world
Face off against Hatoba ⋯ Decide the rules ⋯ Put your guns on the floor, and pick them up and start shooting each other on signal ⋯ Cheating is possible, so propose different rules ⋯ Decide to hold a meeting to decide the rules on another day ⋯ The next day, go to the designated underground meeting room ⋯ Get lost underground ⋯ Go through an unknown underground passage ⋯ A lost little girl is crying ⋯ You try to speak to her and she runs away ⋯ Follow her ⋯ She goes down some stairs, and keeps going and going ⋯ She stops at the bottom floor ⋯ The celluloid doll girl laughs ⋯ Were you lured here? ⋯ Were you called here? ⋯ Look back to see Hatoba dead ⋯ Get on the subway and escape ⋯ Escape from this world ⋯ The next world awaits ⋯ Arrive at the station and get off onto the platform to see Shiroyabu waiting ⋯ You and Shiroyabu hug each other ⋯ When you pull back, you’ve been stabbed with a jackknife ⋯ Warm blood flows down to your feet ⋯ Black out
Face off against Aoyama ⋯ Hatoba and Akama face off ⋯ Kuroyanagi watches over them ⋯ Shiroyabu’s body goes opaque ⋯ Hatoba gets killed ⋯ Dodge all of Aoyama’s bullets and kill him with one shot ⋯ Akama waits for the vengeance shot ⋯ Dodge all of Akama’s bullets and try to kill him with one shot ⋯ Aoyama’s corpse whispers into your ear ⋯ “Don’t kill him” ⋯ Agree willingly ⋯ Leave ⋯ Miss the last bus ⋯ Go to the nearby subway station ⋯ Get on the train and get off at your destination ⋯ Get mistaken for a sex offender ⋯ This woman is trying to blackmail you into paying her to not accuse you of molesting her on the train ⋯ She gets loud ⋯ You’re in a hurry so you kill her ⋯ Go back to your house and sleep ⋯ Sleep deeply ⋯ Get past the point of sleep ⋯ Fall to the depths of sleep ⋯ Your senses float ⋯ Pass through the radial annular line of dreams ⋯ Sleep in the final processing place of dreams ⋯ Eternal sleep
Face off against Akama ⋯ Kuroyanagi kills Aoyama ⋯ Hatoba and Kuroyanagi leave ⋯ Face off with Akama ⋯ You can’t move ⋯ Aoyama’s ghost has possessed you ⋯ Get shot the hell up by Akama and fall ⋯ Aoyama laughs ⋯ Akama kills himself ⋯ Akama becomes a ghost and meets up with Aoyama ⋯ Wearing weird, futuristic clothes, Blue and Red get on a floating silver ship ⋯ They embark on a journey to the doorway to the next dimension ⋯ Stop breathing ⋯ The wind blows you out into the quiet calm of time
Face off against Kuroyanagi ⋯ Get killed instantly ⋯ Get shredded into bits and lose your shape ⋯ Shiroyabu whispers ⋯ “The end is the beginning” ⋯ Wake up in a white room ⋯ What a nostalgic place
Find Shiroyabu in hiding ⋯ Shoot Shiroyabu ⋯ The bullets go straight through him ⋯ Get targeted by Kuroyanagi ⋯ Get instantly killed ⋯ Shiroyabu whispers ⋯ “Let’s meet again” ⋯ Wake up in a white room ⋯ You know this place
Talk to Shiroyabu ⋯ Shiroyabu whispers ⋯ “I’ll kill you again and again” ⋯ Darkness ⋯ You can’t see anything ⋯ Endless darkness ⋯ For eternity
Shiroyabu was invisible ⋯ Everyone has disappeared… ⋯ Shiroyabu shines ⋯ Walk ⋯ Walk the line between reality and observation ⋯ An unstable tightrope ⋯ Shiroyabu continues walking skillfully ⋯ Get into a taxi at the cab stand ⋯ Head to the 24th Ward ⋯ When you arrive at the 24th Ward, Shiroyabu has disappeared ⋯ You feel a chill ⋯ A dangerous person has been waiting for you ⋯ To be continued…
Is Shiroyabu alive? ⋯ Shiroyabu becomes unstable ⋯ It’s an omen of the future ⋯ Shiroyabu starts dancing ⋯ A portal opens up ⋯ On the other side is a futuristic past of the present ⋯ “Violent crime spreads in all worlds” ⋯ “Let’s go, Uehara!” ⋯ Shiroyabu enters the portal first ⋯ You follow him in ⋯ Humans are riding dinosaurs and battling it out in the Colosseum ⋯ “This is… an illegal casino” ⋯ “Process all of them!” ⋯ Shiroyabu shoots a dinosaur with a ray gun ⋯ Fight against violent crime, Kamui Uehara!
Wonder whether Shiroyabu is alive or dead and fire one shot to check ⋯ Dark Shiroyabu appears ⋯ Shiroyabu and Dark Shiroyabu engage in a heated close-range gunfight ⋯ The two overlap and become Red Shiroyabu ⋯ Red Shiroyabu is like a natural disaster ⋯ He instantaneously slices off Hatoba’s head ⋯ He dodges Kuroyanagi’s gunfire, then dissipates into the air and escapes ⋯ He disappears into the night city ⋯ The HC Unit is rebooted ⋯ All HC Units throughout history gather together ⋯ Their mission: Process Red Shiroyabu ⋯ To be continued…
Shiroyabu executes Blue and Red ⋯ Kuroyanagi avenges them ⋯ Shiroyabu’s last words: ⋯ “Go see my mother” ⋯ Kuroyanagi finishes him off ⋯ Go see Shiroyabu’s mother, living in an apartment in the suburbs ⋯ She’s a young woman ⋯ She gives you a key ⋯ It’s for a room in another apartment building in the neighborhood ⋯ Open the door to room D3 ⋯ Shiroyabu is asleep in the living room ⋯ Shiroyabu wakes up
What’s that red light shining around Shiroyabu? ⋯ He almost seems robotic ⋯ He emanates light ⋯ The light of justice ⋯ The light of Kamui ⋯ The tragedy of the 25th Ward becomes light ⋯ Shiroyabu’s light becomes huge ⋯ As the light disperses, time stops ⋯ Light becomes time and the clock is rewound back to the past ⋯ You negotiate with the observers inside the vortex of time ⋯ You’ve stopped the explosion and sinking of the 25th Ward ⋯ Once again, the Heinous Crimes Unit ⋯ pledges its allegiance… TO JUSTICE
Kill Aoyama and Akama simultaneously ⋯ You fly into another space ⋯ Blue and Red speak ⋯ “We’ll make this as simple as possible” ⋯ “We’re seriously time police” ⋯ “And we’ve got a request” ⋯ “We want you to help our buddy out” ⋯ “He’s a good dude” ⋯ “A man on a motorcycle will come to the place we’re about to send you” ⋯ “His name is Mr. TD” ⋯ “Please help him out if he has any trouble” ⋯ “We’re counting on you, Uehara” ⋯ You eat a cheeseburger and shake combo meal at a hamburger shop ⋯ They’ve got contracts with local farmers so the ingredients are of good quality ⋯ And it tastes really good ⋯ The man on the motorcycle arrives ⋯ As soon as he sits down, he drinks your milkshake (he drinks it up!) ⋯ “Are you Uehara?” ⋯ “I’ve heard about you from Bruno San Martino and Red Ribbon. I’ve got a job for you.” ⋯ “Find this woman” ⋯ “Can you trust this guy?” ⋯ Your pet cat speaks ⋯ “Seems legit” ⋯ “Show me the way” ⋯ Something resonates ⋯ You go off to find the source ⋯ Off to Kansas ⋯ You speed through the countryside on a motorcycle ⋯ You arrive at a car wash ⋯ The resonation level increases ⋯ Your nose starts bleeding ⋯ This power is strong ⋯ You find the woman – a Japanese woman working the cash register ⋯ “I’ve found you, Akari Tsukiyono” ⋯ “A fellow industry worker… What a hassle” ⋯ “Wait… slow down” ⋯ “OK. Can we change locations?” ⋯ “I come here a lot and don’t want to cause them any trouble” ⋯ “Good girl. Let’s go” ⋯ You eat lunch at a BBQ restaurant ⋯ The rich sauce goes well with the Kansas beef ⋯ Akari Tsukiyono was a crossword puzzle fiend ⋯ Get all the answers and she’ll give you a riddle ⋯ The problems are simple ⋯ You receive a ball from Akari Tsukiyono ⋯ Then she gives you a key ⋯ It’s a keychain she got from her roommate ⋯ Go to the bowling alley for ball maintenance ⋯ You visit a legendary ballsmith working at the Old Pharaoh ⋯ The ballsmith is busy with work and is hard to meet ⋯ You go to the bowling alley every day ⋯ One morning, you roll a 300 game ⋯ You get a call from the ballsmith ⋯ You head down underneath the bowling alley ⋯ Frank is working there in a stark white jumpsuit ⋯ You give the ball to Frank and it starts spinning quickly and glowing ⋯ You’re engulfed by the light ⋯ Return to the 26th Ward ⋯ The 26th Ward was a war zone
Speak with Aoyama and Akama ⋯ Akama’s phone rings ⋯ He’s called off to another investigation ⋯ You go with him on a floating silver ship ⋯ You rush to the scene ⋯ R City, Japan, 1975 ⋯ A woman’s decaying corpse has been discovered ⋯ Gather evidence from the body disposed on the freeway ⋯ An unmarked Lamborghini Miura races down the wrong side of the freeway blaring its siren ⋯ You ask Kida the coroner’s medical opinion ⋯ Her face alone has not decayed and is still beautiful ⋯ Maybe she ate too much convenience store food ⋯ Or she could’ve been using lots of makeup full of preservatives ⋯ Her identity is confirmed ⋯ She was an English woman named Susie Sumner ⋯ You go to the town she lived in ⋯ Kida the coroner examines Susie’s head ⋯ He checks into various things ⋯ There’s nothing that stands out ⋯ Chiruko Takahashi the cleaner is called in ⋯ Chiruko has a part-time job as a medium ⋯ Susie’s head is scanned ⋯ A religious cult is transferred to a Polaroid photo ⋯ You go to the cult’s mountain headquarters ⋯ The leader is a mysterious person named Zomu Michino ⋯ He’s a renowned archeologist who graduated from Teito University ⋯ His entire history before entering the university has disappeared ⋯ Or, it may never have existed in the first place ⋯ Blue and Red are called off to a different crime scene ⋯ A woman’s head was found in Edinburgh, Scotland ⋯ She’s identified as Susie Sumner ⋯ “This is one fucked up case” ⋯ “It’s totally, absolutely fucked up” ⋯ “Wanna go back to the 25th Ward?” ⋯ “It wouldn’t be right to go back in the middle of a case” ⋯ “OK, let’s do this, then…” ⋯ “Uehara, you can go home if you want… What’re you gonna do?” ⋯ To be continued…
Kosaka is calling from the other side of the dead zone ⋯ You lend him an ear ⋯ You dream ⋯ You sprout wings on your back and ascend upwards, ever upwards through the clouds. A building in Baroque style sits in the heavens. Winged people saunter in and out. Part of you thinks “this must be Heaven”, but another part of you feels it reeks of farce. You take the gun you happen to have at hand, and go to town on the winged people. Suddenly, their veneer peels back to reveal the truth… they’re murderous savages, and they want you to know it ⋯ You kill them all ⋯ You’re exiled from Heaven, left with no place to belong ⋯ Kosaka extends a hand ⋯ The moment you take it you’re flung back to Heaven ⋯ The militarized rabble of murderous savages has weapons in hand and you in their sights ⋯ Kosaka’s pulled a fast one on you
Kosaka calls to you from the depths of death ⋯ You strain to listen ⋯ And then strain some more ⋯ You catch the faintest of screams ⋯ “I’m waiting for you in Hell, Uehara” ⋯ You snuff him out
Kosaka’s corpse is reanimated ⋯ He reeks, zombie-style ⋯ He speaks ⋯ “Keep your eyes on your feet. If your shadow disappears, it means they are close” ⋯ Kosaka’s body crumbles as he smiles ⋯ When you look down at your feet, your shadow is already gone ⋯ And then… ⋯ Oh… oh god… ⋯ To be continued…
Kosaka comes back from the dead, semi-transparent ⋯ His blood glows white ⋯ It’s a sign that shit is about to hit the fan ⋯ You strike at his right arm ⋯ Water droplets spatter ⋯ Kosaka laughs at how pathetic you are ⋯ There’s sadness in his eyes ⋯ You go for a drink with him ⋯ Together, you crawl through five dives, one after another ⋯ You shoot the shit over the good ol’ days ⋯ You go your separate ways before the trains start running again ⋯ Kosaka starts to fade out, and then vaporizes entirely ⋯ Suddenly you’re profoundly saddened
Kosaka lives ⋯ He shoots Hatoba dead ⋯ Kosaka is consumed by madness ⋯ Kuroyanagi can’t move ⋯ Neither Red nor Blue can move, either ⋯ Everyone glares at each other ⋯ Everyone points their guns at each other, too ⋯ No one gives an inch ⋯ Thirty minutes go by ⋯ No one lets their guard down, even in the slightest ⋯ An hour goes by ⋯ Moving first means defeat ⋯ Three hours go by ⋯ You hesitate ⋯ You’re shot ⋯ Three consecutive shots, followed by three consecutive hits ⋯ You’re fatally wounded ⋯ You’re on the verge of death ⋯ “You won’t whiteout again” ⋯ “This time, you’ll blackout” ⋯ You’re crippled by intense pain ⋯ Game Over
Go to a Twin Peaks: The Return fan gathering and discuss how Dougie Jones is actually awesome ⋯ Dougie heatedly explains his theories on Kafka’s “The Castle”
Personally I feel that Andy Kaufman was the pinnacle of comedy ⋯ Here I come to save the day! ⋯ They just don’t make ’em like Andy anymore
Sakaki stares expressionlessly in your direction ⋯ Shiroyabu is shaken ⋯ She’s a flailing target, just asking to be shot ⋯ But your arm won’t move ⋯ Something lurks in the depths of Sakaki’s expressionless stare ⋯ You’re bound ⋯ Shiroyabu casually executes you ⋯ You’re reborn as a Supreme Court judge
Sakaki looks cheerfully in your direction ⋯ Shiroyabu is crying ⋯ He apologizes ⋯ Sakaki embraces him ⋯ Kuroyanagi tried to hold him back, but Shiroyabu is swallowed by Sakaki’s body and mind ⋯ You fire at Sakaki to no effect ⋯ Shiroyabu whispers ⋯ “I have a place to return to” ⋯ Shiroyabu disappears
Sakaki is staring daggers in your direction ⋯ She vows revenge ⋯ Shiroyabu comes to do some killing ⋯ Hardcore yoga liberates your mind and you escape to another world ⋯ Shiroyabu is waiting for you in that world, too ⋯ This world’s Shiroyabu is friendly ⋯ She invites you to dinner ⋯ The feast hits its stride ⋯ You chow down on the Peking duck ⋯ And die of poisoning
You blink ⋯ The butterfly effect dominos into motion ⋯ A plane plummets out of the sky ⋯ You accept that reality for what it is ⋯ There’s a huge explosion ⋯ You obtain a rare item ⋯ You use it right away ⋯ You emerge from the explosion, still breathing
You close your eyes ⋯ You’re jumping through time ⋯ You open your eyes ⋯ You’re three seconds back from where you started ⋯ You close your eyes ⋯ You’re jumping through time ⋯ You open your eyes ⋯ You’re nine seconds back from where you started ⋯ So you go, over and over, until you’re out of time ⋯ You’re now qualified to be a time leaper ⋯ You embark on an adventure through time
List all twelve of Akira Maeda’s Suplexes ⋯ German Suplex ⋯ Full Nelson Suplex ⋯ Reverse Arm Suplex ⋯ Schroider ⋯ Untergriff ⋯ Sault Suplex ⋯ Double Wrist Lock ⋯ Half Punch ⋯ Reverse Suplex ⋯ Dieport Schroider ⋯ Quarter Nelson Suplex ⋯ Double Arm Lock Suplex ⋯ Sparkling Crash ⋯ Perfected Capture ⋯ You enroll in RINGS ⋯ You go to Georgia for Combat Sambo drills ⋯ You tour Holland’s combat circuit ⋯ You make your debut in The Outsiders ⋯ With a flawless record in The Outsiders, you transfer to the North American majors ⋯ You take down the Irish champion, and take the championship ⋯ You currently hold the record for longest undefeated champion
Carry on to tomorrow ⋯ A guard representing the Majority appears ⋯ You stand on the threshold between today and tomorrow ⋯ Fast-forwarding to tomorrow is prohibited ⋯ There are rules for crossing the threshold ⋯ 1. Close your eyes for ten seconds ⋯ 2. Don’t sigh ⋯ 3. Don’t drink coffee after eating ⋯ 4. Pray when the wind blows ⋯ Obey the 88 rules ⋯ Off to tomorrow ⋯ The world blurs away
Proceed to yesterday ⋯ A security guard representing the Minority stops you at a checkpoint ⋯ You show up at the scene of an unsolved crime ⋯ The key to solving the crime exists tomorrow ⋯ You head off to tomorrow to gather evidence ⋯ The blurred world becomes clear ⋯ You go to a Western-style house on a remote island ⋯ You solve the mystery ⋯ You board the ferry to yesterday ⋯ The world is soaking wet
Target Kuroyanagi’s head ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ Your last memory is of pain in your left eye ⋯ Reincarnate as gluten
Target Kuroyanagi’s heart ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ Your last memory is of intense pain all over your face ⋯ Reincarnate as protein
Target Kuroyanagi’s neck ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ You can’t breathe ⋯ Reincarnate as a beer can
Target Kuroyanagi’s jaw ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ Your body flops around ⋯ Reincarnate as a beer bottle
Target Kuroyanagi’s right arm ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ Try to use your left arm ⋯ Get ground up ⋯ Reincarnate as cedar pollen
Target Kuroyanagi’s left arm ⋯ Get shot immediately ⋯ Try using your right arm ⋯ Get ground up ⋯ Reincarnate as Japanese cypress pollen
Target Kuroyanagi’s right leg ⋯ Get blown up ⋯ Reincarnate as ragweed pollen
Target Kuroyanagi’s left leg ⋯ Get blown up ⋯ Reincarnate as rice pollen ⋯ Target Kuroyanagi’s stomach ⋯ A hole opens up in a stomach ⋯ Reincarnate as hydrogen
Target Kuroyanagi’s ears ⋯ Dodge the attack ⋯ Kuroyanagi is open to attack ⋯ You fire everything ⋯ Everything is fired at you ⋯ You dodge everything ⋯ Everything is dodged ⋯ You ready a tactical knife ⋯ Kuroyanagi draws a katana ⋯ The blades clash as you both aim for the chest ⋯ Again, the blades clash ⋯ Kuroyanagi is stabbed through the heart ⋯ The katana just barely misses your heart ⋯ Kuroyanagi falls ⋯ Shiroyabu, beating Hatoba, Red, and Blue, glares at you ⋯ Like a devil, you glare back ⋯ Purple spirit suffuses you ⋯ Sparks fly at the signal of the duel’s start ⋯ White-haired Sumio Kodai puts an end to it ⋯ More accurately, his careful presence seems to stretch time ⋯ Continued in the 26th Ward
You cross a bridge ⋯ You stop ⋯ You take in the night view of the city ⋯ You whistle endlessly ⋯ Stray Dog Beatniks ⋯ You gaze up at the sky ⋯ You return to That Place ⋯ You sleep in peace
You walk along an industrial road… ⋯ The exhaust fumes limit your line of sight ⋯ The night wind hurts ⋯ Loneliness turns to sleepiness and overcomes you ⋯ You sleep ⋯ Forever
You enter an undersea cable maintenance facility ⋯ You go underground ⋯ You switch to an escalator ⋯ You descend deeper and deeper ⋯ You pass through a geometric junction ⋯ You find a door to an underground world ⋯ However, it requires twelve keys ⋯ You embark on a cable journey ⋯ To be continued…
You ascend an emergency staircase ⋯ You exit to the roof ⋯ You’re watched by a satellite ⋯ You stare down the satellite ⋯ You force the satellite into submission ⋯ It becomes an eye
You sit down upright ⋯ You explain the intricacies of tea ceremony ⋯ You move to the tea room ⋯ You enjoy the garden ⋯ You make tea ⋯ It’s delicious ⋯ You become one with the universe
You take a deep breath ⋯ You do away with any malice ⋯ Your worries disappear ⋯ The path opens up ⋯ You drive along in your beloved Z ⋯ You head west ⋯ To the promised land…
You observe ⋯ In exchange, you are controlled ⋯ You become dependent on this ⋯ You find pleasure in half-death ⋯ You fall to the depths of the world ⋯ The view from the very bottom isn’t bad ⋯ You obtain power in the palm of your hand
You become diversity ⋯ You go to diversity ⋯ You know diversity ⋯ You want to become diversity ⋯ Diversity is right in front of you ⋯ Diversity is the shadow of the future ⋯ Diversity is the moon of tomorrow ⋯ Diversity is on my back ⋯ Diversity is optimization
You open your third eye ⋯ Your personality opens up ⋯ Seven personalities are born ⋯ The center of the round table is decorated with a train diorama ⋯ It’s a full-course dinner ⋯ You move on to the next step ⋯ You buy some expensive ice cream at the convenience store ⋯ You sit on a bench and eat the ice cream ⋯ You fall asleep ⋯ Morning won’t come
You pluck at your hair ⋯ Some hair falls out ⋯ You keep plucking ⋯ You lose your hair ⋯ You awaken
Bruce Wayne, the original, is the best Batman ⋯ The Original ⋯ The greatest dick
Terry McGinnis deserves more of a spotlight ⋯ The Future ⋯ On-the-job training only
Barbara Gordon is just too iconic ⋯ The Driven ⋯ Finding her own path
Dick Grayson is the real apprentice ⋯ The Acrobat ⋯ As good as his teacher
Tim Drake is the real future Batman ⋯ The Faithful ⋯ Willing to do whatever it takes
Katherine Kane should be leading the Bat family ⋯ The Principled ⋯ And got to keep her dad
Damian Wayne is only just getting started ⋯ The Son ⋯ Learning to be a leader
Betty Kane needs to be brought back in a big way ⋯ The Atoner ⋯ Spoiling for a chance to make it right
Jean-Paul Valley needs a Batsuit again ⋯ The Assassin ⋯ Deserves another chance with the cowl
The best day for TV is Wednesday ⋯ So glad to have a DVR ⋯ So many good dramas at the same time ⋯ Those lawyers… ⋯ SVU ⋯ Serving Verdicts Unhappily ⋯ S-V-U ⋯ Special Victims Unite
An astral projection of Kurumizawa appears ⋯ It gets closer ⋯ It suddenly charges you ⋯ It passes through you ⋯ You are connected to Kurumizawa’s world ⋯ You gaze at a nebula ⋯ Turning into a cosmic ray, you observe things ⋯ You return to Earth in search of love ⋯ Kurumizawa finishes passing through you ⋯ The desire to kill is lost ⋯ You join to Kurumizawa as you partially fade away ⋯ You steel yourself for your next ideal ⋯ Kurumizawa’s will becomes yours
Kurumizawa appears in an illustration ⋯ He doesn’t appear out of place ⋯ The picture moves like some sort of new innovation ⋯ Hatoba turns 2D ⋯ Red and Blue turn 2D ⋯ Kuroyanagi willingly turns into a pure-hearted 2D heroine ⋯ Shiroyabu is all garish in 2D and doesn’t look good ⋯ The visual design is all over the place ⋯ It turns into a fight amongst the brave ⋯ Somehow the respawn setting got turned on ⋯ Oh, if you pay money you can respawn ⋯ Pay-to-win is unbeatable ⋯ Kuroyanagi is a damn whale ⋯ She’s just got all the summoning magic imbued in her weapons ⋯ Akama is actually a big spender too ⋯ He’s got the rare ultimate weapon, Black Dragon ⋯ Kuroyanagi spends buckets until she gets the Fallen Angel ⋯ The limit attacks from Black Dragon and Fallen Angel burn the land ⋯ The 25th Ward is utterly destroyed
Kurumizawa appears in a voxel body ⋯ You attack ⋯ As expected, the blocks reform after taking damage ⋯ You try to burn it ⋯ It doesn’t work on voxels ⋯ You try to flush it down the toilet ⋯ You clogged the toilet ⋯ OK, try to microwave it ⋯ The voxels just won’t heat up ⋯ What about washing it down the disposal ⋯ You grind it up ⋯ You defeated Kurumizawa
Kurumizawa appears in a polygonal body ⋯ The polygons are gleaming and dazzle you ⋯ The specular highlights are too strong ⋯ It’s very awe-inspiring ⋯ He switches from being an observer to a dominator ⋯ He kills everyone with his overpowering presence ⋯ The sharp polygons were threatening all ⋯ Get destroyed ⋯ Get sent to the polygon dimension ⋯ The god of polygons, Polygon Boss, repairs you ⋯ Attend a polygon body training class once a week ⋯ The exorbitant price is 200,000 for 4 lessons a month ⋯ You increase your shifts working in rendering ⋯ Add some bytes for LOD ⋯ Find you have a sense for LOD and the salary increases ⋯ No longer have time to go to class ⋯ Get called into the Polygon Boss’ office ⋯ He threatens to send you to the polygon grave ⋯ Take a day to think about it ⋯ Return to training and get your polygon certification ⋯ Return to the 25th Ward in a fully polygonal body ⋯ Kurumizawa has already left town ⋯ Giving in to your ambitions, take over ruling the town
Kurumizawa appears in a 200 million polygon body ⋯ It takes so long to render, he can’t move much ⋯ Only the eyeballs move ⋯ Several years pass ⋯ 8K becomes normal and Kurumizawa’s rendering is optimized ⋯ During the 16K era, he takes over the world
Kurumizawa appears in an anthropomorphic animal body ⋯ It’s a scary Showa-era monster body ⋯ Kurumizawa screams in pain and explodes ⋯ At the epicenter, Kurumizawa is covered in blood, panting ⋯ He looks kinda like Shiroyabu
Kurumizawa appears in his real body ⋯ Kurumizawa is questioning ⋯ “Who are we?” ⋯ Closing your eyes, Kurumizawa rips apart and disappears ⋯ Kurumizawa rematerializes ⋯ Kurumizawa is questioning ⋯ “Where are we living?” ⋯ He rips apart and disappears again ⋯ Kurumizawa is looping ⋯ His loop is looping
Patricia appears ⋯ She’s crying ⋯ Ask her why ⋯ She says she wants you to stop fighting ⋯ There was a popular song about that back in the day ⋯ You put down your guns and decide to settle it with darts ⋯ Go to a darts bar in the warehouse district ⋯ Order shots at a late-night party ⋯ The loser has to drink the shots ⋯ Patricia is really good at darts ⋯ You got ripped off ⋯ Everyone gets on the first train of the morning and goes home
Sakaki is pointing her gun at you ⋯ You reflexively fire ⋯ You shoot her right in the forehead ⋯ Her face is covered in blood ⋯ Her face is bloodied up like Terry Funk ⋯ As Sakaki crumples to the ground, Shiroyabu holds her ⋯ Sakaki is pointing her gun at you from a different place ⋯ She’s wearing a stark white dress ⋯ You reflexively fire ⋯ Like you’re a puppet on strings ⋯ You shoot her right in the forehead ⋯ Her face is covered in blood ⋯ Her face is bloodied up like Rodney King ⋯ As Sakaki crumples to the ground, Shiroyabu holds her ⋯ Sakaki is pointing her gun at you yet again ⋯ Sakaki keeps dying, over and over ⋯ Shiroyabu gradually fades from existence ⋯ Sakaki also fades away ⋯ They’ve both disappeared ⋯ The still air moves ⋯ Everyday life returns to normal ⋯ It was an omen of war to come
A man in all black moves close to you ⋯ He gives you a warning ⋯ “Beware a smiling face” ⋯ The man in black takes off on a motorcycle ⋯ The moment he hits 300kph, he disappears in a flash of light ⋯ Just like Marty and Doc ⋯ A hole remains where the light flashed ⋯ You enter the hole that’s reminiscent of something you’ve seen before in a video game ⋯ The hole was a bend in time and space ⋯ Inside the time machine-like hole live strange living beings ⋯ A tiny dinosaur is yelling out for help ⋯ You take out a larger dinosaur with gunfire, but it morphs into a human ⋯ You’ve come to some sort of hodgepodge world ⋯ You must dial “777” on a public phone to escape ⋯ To be continued…
Start dreaming ⋯ You’re in a black desert ⋯ White sea ⋯ Red mountains ⋯ A pink horse gallops across the fields ⋯ A man is riding on a unicorn ⋯ “Stop, Takeru” ⋯ An Occidental man named Mondo in a three-piece suit gets down from the unicorn ⋯ Mondo draws a katana ⋯ “Let’s stop him” ⋯ “I’ll see you again in 100 years” ⋯ Mondo gets back on the unicorn and rides off ⋯ 100 years later… ⋯ To be continued…
Listen to Sakanaction’s new release ⋯ Clear awareness and intentions ⋯ Clarified sound ⋯ The sound passes through your blood ⋯ Run away ⋯ Run ⋯ Run completely away ⋯ Get on a ferry ⋯ An unknown land ⋯ A small local municipality ⋯ Get a live-in job ⋯ Live a quiet life ⋯ Die a quiet death
Listen to Morrissey’s latest release ⋯ It’s got a low center of gravity ⋯ The sound passes through your body ⋯ Run away from this place ⋯ Run away ⋯ Run completely away ⋯ Get on a highway bus ⋯ Open the curtain on your new life
Open a door ⋯ Three animals sit on a sofa ⋯ The chicken whispers ⋯ “Never come here again” ⋯ The pig whispers ⋯ “Next time, knock three times and enter” ⋯ The tiger roars ⋯ “KILL!” ⋯ You return through the door and everyone is dead ⋯ The three animals appear from the door ⋯ The world will end in two years and five months
Wait for daybreak ⋯ Pray to tomorrow ⋯ Cross a bridge ⋯ Enter 37564 Island ⋯ Patrick Patterson makes his first appearance ⋯ Get shown to the White House ⋯ Turns out he was a dictator ⋯ But people are allured by alluring people ⋯ Is this the utopia of the 25th Ward? ⋯ Serve the dictator ⋯ Decide to live on an island ⋯ The quiet days melt your brain ⋯ A civil war ensues ⋯ The president is driven out of the country by a coup d’état ⋯ Lead soldiers to unify the island ⋯ Sign an armistice agreement ⋯ Make 37564 Island into a new, independent 26th Ward ⋯ To be continued…
Wander ⋯ Go north ⋯ Rest ⋯ Stop ⋯ Work ⋯ Buy a used car ⋯ Take a rest at a drive-in ⋯ Work at the drive-in ⋯ Fall in love ⋯ Goal! ⋯ Win at the game of Life ⋯ Return to your senses
Wander aimlessly ⋯ Blur out ⋯ Fog up ⋯ Get cloudy ⋯ Force yourself ⋯ Drop ⋯ Game Over
Go see Sumio ⋯ Go to the 24th Ward ⋯ Meet Ishizuka ⋯ Open the door to Hex Coffee ⋯ A little girl shows you around ⋯ Reach an island ⋯ There’s a blue sky and blue sea ⋯ No one is on the beach ⋯ Walk ⋯ Walk and walk ⋯ Eventually come across a hotel ⋯ You check in ⋯ Even though you didn’t have a reservation the service is excellent ⋯ Be lead to your room ⋯ Forget to tip the bellhop ⋯ The door closes with an ominous sound ⋯ Your mood is ruined ⋯ Go to dinner ⋯ You are seated facing someone ⋯ It’s a man ⋯ Sumio Kodai! ⋯ “Welcome to Lospass Island.”
Go and see Kusabi ⋯ Escape from the 25th Ward ⋯ Drift around ⋯ You get picked up by Resistance 24 ⋯ Wake up from a 6 year comatose state ⋯ You join the armed group 24 ⋯ Undergo VR training ⋯ You take military training too ⋯ Participate in war games ⋯ Get selected for the 3rd Paratroopers unit ⋯ Perform a stealth drop into the chaotic 26th Ward ⋯ Fight an undead soldier ⋯ Fight an undead warrior ⋯ Fight an undead master ⋯ Fight an undead swordsman ⋯ Fight an undead paladin ⋯ Fight an undead demon ⋯ Fight an undead god ⋯ Enter the Forest of the Dead ⋯ Around the sediment layer, end the 800 year war ⋯ Find and collect the sleeping body from the sea ⋯ The rescue of Testugoro Kusabi is complete ⋯ Board the spacetime ship Natsume and escape the 26th Ward ⋯ Get sent to the 27th Ward
Appearances
Nomenclature
- black out (The 25th Ward: The Silver Case)